Monday, January 6, 2014

Successful People and New Year's Resolutions

So, as a rule I tend to not make New Year's Resolutions. You know, all the stuff about not keeping up with them and too much pressure and all that. Basically it all comes down to me not wanting to set myself up for disappointment, especially disappointment with myself. If I don't set goals, I don't have to feel like a failure when I don't reach them. Then by default I'm not a failure!

Last year, for the first time ever, I actually made a resolution to choose happiness. I ended up setting some pretty lofty goals for myself for my first run with resolutions. Though I didn't keep them all to the letter, they definitely helped me to begin creating some really positive habits in my life.

Which brings me to the present blog post which involves successful people. Recently one of friends posted this image on his Facebook page:

I am not sure where this image originated but it's got some pretty interesting thoughts. I began by reading the list under "Successful People," and felt pretty good. I feel I exhibit several behaviors on this list such as the following:
  • Have a sense of gratitude
  • Compliment
  • Forgive others
  • Accept responsibility for their failures (at least I think I do)
  • Want others to succeed
  • Continuously learn 
  • Exude Joy (depending on who you ask I'm sure)
  • Talk about ideas
  • Share information and data
  • Give others credit for their victories
Then I read the list of "Unsuccessful People," and realized I also have characteristics on this list such as:
  • Criticize (um...ouch...this one is hard to be honest about)
  • Say they keep a journal but don't (I used to...)
  • Think they know it all (just ask my husband)
  • Never set goals (it's hard to say never...I have to-do lists and do accomplish things, but I'm not sure I can call them goals)
  • Fly by the seat of their pants
  • Watch TV every day
This was a real eye opener to me. Now, am I completely unsuccessful? Well, no, not completely. I have successfully gone into business for myself and am growing in recognition and clientele, as well as increasing my knowledge and experience on a daily basis. I have been successful at gaining and keeping employment outside of my own business, and I feel I am successful as a parent, a friend and a spouse (despite the admitted occasional criticism and knowing-it-all).

The question is whether or not these poor habits I know I have are holding me back from being wildly more successful than I am. What would happen if I did start keeping a journal again? Would I be more self aware? Maybe that would help me work on issues and weaknesses I have. Maybe I would be less critical and know-it-all-ish. Maybe I would be more grateful and more of the other things on the successful people list. What would happen if I began setting goals for myself and made plans to reach those goals? What if I stopped watching TV? Okay...what if I stopped watching as much TV? Would I read more? Would I accomplish more? Would I be more active and healthy? What if I had more of a set schedule and didn't fly by the seat of my pants? Maybe it's possible for me to eradicate my lifelong habit of being late! Maybe...

I have found with other things, like eating healthy for example, that when I focus on doing more of the good stuff, the bad stuff naturally lessens. So, I think the way to improve is not to focus on NOT doing the bad habits, and instead focus on incorporating more of the good habits. So here are the things I'm going to work on. Call them resolutions if you want; I think I'll call them goals (since apparently I need help in the setting goals department).
  • Read more
  • Watch less TV
  • Keep a journal
  • Set goals and develop life plans (I have big plans for Honeybee Mama in 2014)
And you know what? I'll check back in with you guys in a couple months and let you know how I'm doing on all this.

What about you? Did you make resolutions for 2014? According to the lists above, are you a successful or unsuccessful person? What changes could you make to be more successful in your life and work?

Love and Honey,


Barbara said...

How exactly is watching TV vs. Reading linked to success in life? According to this list it would be better to read, let's say '50 shades of grey', than watching the news on TV. I mean - really?? Also, keeping a journal? Again, how is this linked to success? I'd like to know the data behind these lists (is there a source) but I guess there isn't any. I personally wouldn't change my lifestyle based on a picture someone posted on fb ;) However it never hurts to read a good book I'd say :)

Missy Rose said...

These are very good points, Barbara, and I agree that changing one's lifestyle based solely on a random Facebook post isn't completely rational. I know that reading, even if it isn't the best quality reading material, uses different parts of the brain than watching TV, as does writing with pen and paper vs. typing. I have also seen information about how journaling can lead to healthier thought life, particularly if you are using it to practice gratitude and being more present for example. This would also be helpful for those who deal with clinical issues like mood disorders or addiction. Certainly reading quality literary material would be a good habit, no? I would say that a good chunk of the TV I watch each day is news related, and I often have npr on in the car when I drive. I do read everyday, whether it's an article online or a physical book, but it's not extended times of reading and it often takes me many months to get through a book. Based on what I know of positive life habits I would say these lists do tend to fall in line with them, but I agree with you that some of them are definitely very subjective.

Lana Leigh said...

I like it - especially since I'm a girl, so clearly that makes me more successful than the stressed out man on the right ;) just kidding. I enjoyed reading this post!


Missy Rose said...

Haha, I hadn't even noticed the difference between the girl and guy, Lana! Yes, Of course girls are better!


Find me at Tulsa Family Doulas

Join me at the 2015 SMTULSA Conference!

Site design by: The Blog Decorator