Tuesday, August 13, 2013

I Give Up

Remember how desperate we were for the end of the school year?

Yeah, well, I had a few weeks of bliss when my kids were with their dad and my stepkids were with their mom and I got SO much work done. I actually FINISHED my birth plan manual, and I've managed to attend a few births, and get things done here and there, but gone are the days of the kids sleeping in and lazing about the house peacefully while they ignore me and let me work.

Now the to-do list in my planner looks like this, complete with chardonnay at 3 in the afternoon.

It hit me one day, firstly because the pain of attempting to work from home while my kids have Turrets-like fits of the "hey mommies" finally trumped the feeling of accomplishment that came with getting things done. Secondly, I remembered a huge reason I'm a work-at-home-mom at all: to be able to spend more time with my kids.

So, I gave up. I gave up on trying to push them away and tell them, "Not now, Mommy's working." I gave up on being frustrated with them asking, "When can we go to the pool?" and "Are we going to do anything FUN today?"

And I went to the movies,

and the splash pad,

and stopped at a lemonade stand on the way to a wedding,

and went to the Zoo,

and rode the train at the Zoo,

and went to Food Truck Wednesday,

and consoled my kid when ants got on his food at Food Truck Wednesday,

and built a super awesome fort,

and played in the fort,

and realized when you stop talking long enough and start listening, you hear how amazing your kids really are,

and I left the fort up and added twinkle lights so the magic could last into the night,

and I went to the pool even though it was overcast and raining,

and I went to the water park,

and played foursquare,

and went to family yoga,

and took the in-laws to the Tulsa Children's Museum,

and snagged a pool for 50% off of clearance at Wal-Mart so we could have a backyard beach party,

and I made memories instead of money.

I have had to stay up late or get up early from time to time to answer emails, schedule appointments with clients and keep up with the minimum amount allowable of blogging, but for the most part I've just been doing Summer with my kids. Because they deserve it. Well, maybe they don't deserve it. If I had to work and send them to daycare, I would. I've been there before and that was necessary for us to get by then. But they deserve it because I'm able to give it to them.

Since going my own way and starting my own business I have a choice, and the choice I'm making for the rest of the Summer is this: I can wait. Work can wait. Of course, my clients who are in labor and cannot wait and I must go to them then, but the other stuff can wait. My kids, on the other hand, can't wait. They're growing up before my eyes. Thank goodness I'm addicted to snapping pictures or I'd miss it. I don't think I'll regret the moments I chose to put work aside and play with my kids.

I don't think they will either.

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