Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My Scale Is Broken

I mean, it must be, right?



About a week or so before our wedding, the battery got low, which makes it hard to get a good read. I took that as a good time to stop weighing myself in general. It's amazing how great you can feel about your body when you have no idea how much you weigh!

Then a couple of weeks ago, Marc taught me the "trick" to get the scale to work even when the battery is low. Some of you may be wondering why we didn't just replace the battery, especially when we knew full well there was a spare battery in the junk drawer in the kitchen. That's simple; I didn't want to replace the battery! Because then, I'd have to know how much I weighed, and I didn't want to potentially damage how great I was feeling about myself!

That said, when I did learn how to get the low battery scale to work, I was shocked. Well, shocked is an understatement. I was devastated. It was a really big number. I really big scary number for a five foot almost two inches short girl. To be honest, it sent me into a pretty good funk the whole next day (nevermind that whole strange scene occurred at 3am when we woke up because of an earthquake!).

Through tears, I told Marc I didn't understand how that number could be true because I had been feeling so good about my body and how I looked. I felt good on the inside and liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Of course, he adores me, and would still get a sparkle in his eye if I clocked in at 600 pounds, so his reassurance didn't seem all that helpful in the moment.

But after the shock wore off, and I'd exhausted myself making a new grocery list of South Beach Phase 1 foods, we all got cleaned up and got ready to run around and paint the town. As I was getting ready and putting my clothes on, I had no trouble finding something to wear. It fit well and I felt good. I got back on the scale. The big scary number was still there. I looked back in the mirror, turned to the side, turned and eyed the boudiette, turned around and looked at the front again. Yep, still looking like me, like the girl I think looks great! Hm.

According to height and weight charts, BMI scales, that number makes me officially overweight. Not obese, but heavier than I should be. Other times, when I've been near that number, I was either post pregnancy, or in a phase of not exercising and eating crap all the time. Normally, if I'm in a place where I need to get control of my eating and exercise, I feel bloated and tired and terrible. But I don't feel any of those things right now. I feel GOOD!

I completed South Beach phase 1 several months ago, so I'm very aware of how carbs and sugar affect one's diet and body make up. I eat little sugar, and a moderate amount of carbohydrates, mostly whole grains. I usually workout 3-4 times a week, and incorporate strength training with cardio. I'm sure if I got more regimented I could easily shed the unwanted pounds, but do I really need to?

Any time I have used Weight Watchers, South Beach, Calorie Counting or any other weight loss plan, I was at a place of utter disgust with myself, completely frustrated with how my clothes fit, how I looked, and physically felt awful. I don't feel any of these things and therefore don't feel any ounce of motivation to change anything about what I'm doing.

So here's my conclusion: my scale MUST be broken, because I look good! I am thrilled to feel that way, because like most women I have struggled since adolescence with self-esteem and body image. For possibly the first time in my life I am completely happy with the way I look. I'm going to keep doing the things I'm doing, keep eating whole grains, lean proteins, and tons of veggies, and exercising enough to feel healthy and strong.

And I'm gonna keep lookin' good!

Love and Honey,
Missy

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