Monday, September 19, 2011

Mondays are still Mondays.

Happy Monday Lovies!

I was thinking to myself this morning as I watched my to-do list pile up past my eyeballs that a lot of people probably don't realize that Mondays are still Mondays for stay-at-home-moms. Then I realized in reviewing the different pages of my website that I need to update the about honeybeemama tab. It still says I work as an Administrative Assistant during the day at a bank. Woops.

I'll get to it, promise.

Since about a month ago, I've been a, well, stay-at-home-mom. I'm really a work-at-home-mom since I am a birth doula and blogger, but primarily I'm a SAHM. I have four children to keep track of, attending two different school districts. That's four teachers, four take home folders, four ranges of homework responsibilities, one pre-teen, one pre pre-teen (who might as well BE a teenage girl), one very high maintenance and mouthy kindergartener, and one pre-kindergartener who knows full well he's the baby (and takes full advantage of it). Each day I only actually have two hours and 15 minutes (and that's a stretch) of time completely to myself in which to get all that "working at home" done. And don't even get me started on trying to time school drop off and pick up times just right so as to get everyone to school or picked up on time! So, yeah, I'm MOSTLY a stay-at-home-mom.

And that's really hard for me to say, to admit, to OWN. If i'm honest, I have to say I feel squeemish about saying it to people when they ask what I "do." I say, "Oh, well I work from home..." and then ramble on in a stream of consciousness manner for a few minutes trying to legitimize what I do, or make people believe that I actually bring a significant income in to our home. You see, I was a SAHM before my separation from my first marriage (and believe me, it still feels REALLY weird to use terms like "first marriage") which resulted in divorce. Then I working a full time job, and that term really doesn't do that title justice, because that's not what it is. It's a 40 hour/week job, just one part of your "job" or life really, especially when you're a SINGLE parent and have a lot of other work to do outside of that job. Once I became the sole provider for my family (never really have been a consistent recipient of that elusive "child support" thing), I began to create a different view of SAHMs. I'm very sorry to say this, but because of the intense pride you have as a single mama, it's really easy to think little of moms who "have it all" and "get" to stay home while their man provides for all their needs. It's just a biproduct of bearing the full responsibility for raising children and maintaining a home and job.  I never looked down on moms who were able to stay home with their children, but I did develop a bit of an attitude that they had it easier than I did. But honestly, in my mind, anyone who had financial, physical, or emotional help from someone co-parenting with them had it easier than I did. You just truly have no idea until you've had to do it.

But with that pride I began to take hold of a deep joy in my identity and a thankfulness for my life. I can say that I genuinely came to embrace single parenthood; I found myself in a deeper way during that time than in any other stage in my life. For that I'm grateful, and for that reason, it's difficult to transition into the role of SAHM, though I'm slowly finding ways to embrace it again. Really, this is the life I always wanted to live. C'mon, my friends in high school nicknamed me "Soccermom." And this time around, it's a much better place to be than when I stayed at home previously. I'm engaged to a man who LOVES my love of motherhood and LOVES me being home, and who appreciates and needs me as the partner in his life. He cherishes me first and foremost, and would love and support me in any profession I chose, inside or outside the home.

With all that said, here's a shout out to ALL the moms. Working mamas, WAHMs, SAHMs, and all the mamas in between. We all have big jobs to do, and we all have Mondays' to-do lists awaiting us after a weekend of rest. How about some girl power to kick off this week?!

We really can do it. Each of us, whatever our marital or career situation is, can pull up our boot straps, get to work, and shine.

And now, after this blog post has somehow become something wholely other than what I sat down to write (I was going to write a post highlighting some of my favorite posts from other Mom Blogs that I've read this week), I shall end it with love and honey...and get on with my to-dos!



Meg said...

love reading your sweet heart lil' mama!

Missy Rose said...

thanks, meg; you're so sweet!


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